


Chasing Honor

by 7Fanfer7



Series: Chasing Honor [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Comrades, Confusion, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family, Fear of Death, Guilt, Honor, M/M, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25608925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/7Fanfer7/pseuds/7Fanfer7
Summary: Kalluzeb slow burn fic. Angst, Trauma, Growth, andB I GG A YY E A R N I N G
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Series: Chasing Honor [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856176
Comments: 8
Kudos: 72





	1. Looking for Warmth

Zeb didn’t think he could do it. He didn’t dislike being the center of attention on certain occasions, but on this occasion was different. He had quickly warmed up from the icy cold wind in the common area of the Ghost and his brain had seemed to start working at full capacity again, giving him the chance to realize what a situation he had put himself in. 

Hera and Kanan would be furious most likely. A good enough reason, Zeb thought, to avoid the conversation altogether. The brief thought of deception was swept away by his more honorable thoughts. Omitting an important part of events on Bahryn was dishonest, and he would have to explain, regardless of how embarrassed he was over it. For a brief moment it seemed like embarrassment wasn’t the best way to categorize this odd feeling, but now was not the time for that.

The chatter and excitement of his rescue and reunion with the rest of the team had taken a brief lul. His friends we’re idly chatting about things besides his adventure while standing around the open room. He took a deep breath and took his chance. 

“Look, you guys, there’s something else I need to tell you,” He grumbled and looked up at everyone “about that frozen moon.”

They all refocused their attention on him again and he uncomfortably shifted in his seat, his eyes darting around the room. Kanan had an unreadable look on his face and Hera, standing next to him, cocked her head in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Well,” He began slowly “I wasn’t exactly alone out there.”

“You mean the creatures?” Sabine offered, looking puzzled. 

“No besides the creatures. I was with someone else” He hesitated for just a moment, and exhaled sharply “I was with Agent Kallus.” To his displeasure, everyone was staring at him in attentive and silent surprise.

Hera eyed him suspiciously “Agent Kallus? How?” She inquired.

“The escape pod. Right before I was about to get off that junk pile he followed me in and we sorta - we sorta broke the controls somehow.”

“Well that would explain why you didn’t end up on Geonosis” Hera said thoughtfully. “What happened to him?” 

Zeb was silent, looking up at Hera’s gaze from his seat. Now was the perfect opportunity for him to simply explain he had killed Agent Kallus. If he was capable of lying to Hera and the team he would have to think of a better one than that. He’d much rather face Hera’s wrath now for letting an Imperial spy live out of his sense of honor, than her Wrath when she found out Zeb had lied to her because Agent Kallus was very much alive, and busy shooting at them. He looked up at Hera, trying to figure out how to explain himself. Before he could start she asked him again. 

Before he could start she asked him again. “Zeb? What happened to him?” 

Something about the look on her face told Zeb she knew the story was more complicated than him killing Agent Kallus.

“I left him on the moon.” Zeb said, wringing his hands nervously and looking at her scowling face. 

“Alive?” She probed slowly.

“Yep,” Zeb said directly. 

Hera placed a hand on her hip and looked more confused than annoyed “Why? Zeb?”

“He helped me survive. I couldn’t just kill him after we had both made it out of there. Besides, I have a fight to finish with him, once he’s healed that is.”

For some reason the second part of his explanation felt noticeably less honest in his head than the first part. He felt a mild guilt for telling Hera something he realized might not be totally true. He had, however, told Agent Kallus the exact same thing only a day earlier. So, to him, it was true enough.

“Where was he when we arrived?” She continued her questions. 

“We found a cave after we crawled out of that pit. I left him, with the transponder” Zeb shrugged slightly.

“Well I can’t say I'm happy with your decision” Hera admitted. “But with the current situation, having a hostage isn’t that helpful for us anyway.”

Zeb scratched behind his head and looked away from her for a moment. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” he said before returning to her gaze.

“Either way, thanks for telling us Zeb. I appreciate the honesty. Hopefully this situation doesn’t cause any more trouble for us.” She smiled pleasantly and nodded, indicating that the interrogation had concluded. 

It was late, and Hera and Kanan retreated back to their quarters. Ezra had seemed rather nonchalant after the excitement had died down, and was gone. Sabine on the other hand, sat down across the table from him, clearly wanting to talk more about Zeb’s adventure. She leaned in with a devious smile.

“Did you really leave him alive?” She whispered excitedly.

“Course I did.” Zeb said, looking a bit offended. “I couldn’t exactly kill him in cold blood.”

“Wow” She looked genuinely surprised. “I mean, you know, I probably would have shot him. But good for you, taking the high road.”

Zeb was mildly frustrated “We’re not supposed to be like the Empire. We’re supposed to-”

“I know! I know.” She whispered tensely “I just figure with him specifically you’d want some sort of revenge.”

“It’s more complicated than that.” Zeb said back to her, adjusting himself to sit up a little straighter. He continued. “look, I know what he did. To us, to me, and on Lasan. I just couldn’t kill him there after we’d helped each other. I wouldn’t have been the honorable thing to do.”

“I’m just saying, If it were me, I would've wanted a piece of that Imp” She said as she stood up. “But good for you for doing the right thing, buddy” She gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as she walked by. He heard her door open and close and was left alone with his thoughts in the common area. 

His eyes wandered around the room aimlessly. It was good to be back, but something was off. He couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling. Something was bothering him now, and he had to figure out what. For the first time in a long time he felt conflicted over his choices the last day. Even though he knew he did the honorable thing, the fact he left Agent Kallus on the frozen moon unharmed was beginning to bother him.

He groaned and got up from his seat and plodded to the room he shared with Ezra. He flopped himself on his bunk and was resting with his hands behind his head. He briefly wondered what Kallus was doing at the moment. Surely the Empire with its vast network and resources found him soon after. 

But what if they didn’t? He worried momentarily. He tried to steer himself from this line of thought. He was sure Kallus would be found. He was a high ranking ISB agent, after all. Zeb tensed with remembrance and grumbled. Kallus had to be kept alive so they could finish their feud. 

That was it, that was the reason, he remembered. Agent Kallus was not a good person. He was a puppet of the Empire and had to be defeated. Even if he seemed more human now than he had as a violent man that had almost taken his life. Even if the blood crazed gleam was gone from his eyes and replaced with a softer and more passive look, it didn’t matter. Even if Zeb was mostly willing to put Lasan and their intertwined past behind him, the current reality was impossible to ignore. They were enemies,if not personally, they were enemies in the grand scheme of things.

Part of Zeb wished things were different, in other ways besides the big picture ways. He wanted Agent Kallus to be someone other than who he was. He wanted him to be someone easier to forgive, a different imperial agent without all of the very personal history they had shared. Even with Lasan behind him, he wasn’t sure he could forgive him.

He had given him a chance to come with him back to the Ghost, and he had declined.

And that’s all there is to it Zeb concluded. He had offered his olive branch and couldn’t do any more. There was no use worrying about it.

He rolled over, quietly grumbling at the situation and the fact it had become such a complicated and jumbled mess in his brain. He was annoyed at himself, at Agent Kallus, and at the simple fact fate had decided to make this whole mess more complicated than it needed to be.

His mind drifted to more pleasant thoughts as he remembered exactly how not frozen and very much alive he was. He had put faith in his adopted family of the Ghost crew and they didn’t fail him in the slightest. He was happy and satisfied, for the moment.

~~~

“You know, we will treat you fairly” Zeb’s words ran through his head as he sat dumbstruck on the merchant trader’s ship that had retrieved him from the frozen moon of Geonosis.  
He wondered quietly about the choices he had made in the last hours. Was Zeb right? Would they have treated him fairly had he chosen to depart with them instead of sticking it out for the Empire to find him? Not that it mattered now, the Ghost being long gone and the Empire having missed their chance to retrieve him. 

Remembering the fear he felt as he watched the Ghost depart. The doubt he felt in the ability for the Empire to find him filled him with dread as he tried to stay warm in the icy wind of Bahryn. 

The fear was gone now. Only a dull numbness remained, lessened by the warm and faintly glowing rock he had cradled in one arm. His thoughts made him shudder in the chair of the rundown salvage rig as it slowly made its way back to the Lawbringer. 

“You alright, hmmmmmm?” The grizzled old merchant inquired from his seat next to him. 

“Never better” Kallus replied coldly, his voice slow and contemplative. 

Truthfully, Kallus was out of the icy mess much less eaten or frostbitten than he would have thought on the previous day during his misadventures. Mentally, he was a little less put together than when he had followed Zeb into that escape pod. In that moment, he was so determined to complete his goal to quell the rebellion, so focused on apprehending Garazeb Orrelios. Now as he made another move in the direction of his grand goal, to return to his star destroyer and resume his hunt for the rebels, he found himself reluctantly wondering, Why? Since the day on Bahryn, Kallus found himself thinking not just of his goals as an Imperial ISB agent, but why he was chasing after these goals. Despite his better judgement he thought he should begin with asking himself questions. Thankfully before he couldn’t get far, his thoughts were interrupted. 

“Ahhhhh here we are” the old man said as he placed a hand on his long gray beard, leaning back in his tattered seat. The Lawbringer slowly came into view. “We’ve made it” 

Kallus glared at the ship in view and stood up steadily to prepare to board his familiar Star Destroyer. He hesitated for a moment, lost in thought again as he walked to the rear of the merchant’s ship.

“Thank you.” he said simply to the trader.

“Ahhhh don’t mention it” a hand waved from the driver seat of the ship “I wouldn’t have wanted to spend any longer than I had to on that damn moon if I were you. I’m just surprised I found you before the Empire did, ya think they’d be lookin all over for a high ranking agent like you.”

Kallus grimaced. The words stung more than the frozen icy wind of Bahryn. He didn’t want to think about the truth again. He didn’t want to think about the fact that the time frame in which they would have looked for him had already passed. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened had this trader not found him at all, after refusing to depart on the Ghost. He wanted to stop thinking and set his mind on his solid and tangible goal. If he accepted as a fact that what he was doing was the right thing, maybe the questions in his head would go away. He let out an exhausted sigh and walked to the end of the ship. He was ready to get home to his ship where there were goals, no questions in his head, and things made sense.  
. 

Kallus leaned hesitantly on his plain imperial bed and slowly leaned back with his head resting on his hands. Finally, with time to rest after his ordeal. Regrettably he also had time to think now. Annoyingly enough his first thoughts were of Zeb and how he was faring after their misadventures on the ice moon. Hmpf, he’s certainly fine. It’s too soon for them to have run into the Empire, again. He recalled how relieved Zeb’s team seemed to be to find him and how joyful they all seemed at their reunion.Ugh. He hated himself for wanting what Zeb had. 

Something stirred within Kallus and he was briefly aware that something was off, and that something was there that wasn’t normally. Some sense or feeling he previously lacked or ignored was mulling around in his head. It was a feeling of longing, but for what? He couldn’t decide. Was he longing to correct the mistake of letting Zeb leave the frozen moon alive? He felt a sense of guilt for straying from his duties and his directive. During the first half of their night on the moon and every time before then, he would have shot Zeb without hesitation, without question, or a single thought in his mind.

Something changed while they were there together. Something more powerful than his drive to bring the order of the Empire was present. Perhaps that’s what was bothering him so much. The fact that, despite his goals, Zeb had such a sense of honor that Kallus found it appropriate to spare him that day. He found the thought that Zeb didn’t deserve to die by his own hand appalling, or at the very least unsettling.That had to be the reason, and he concluded that it was insignificant and not worth obsessing over. As he decompressed and yawned on his bed, another thought occurred.

Surely I don’t feel like this because I’m jealous. That would be insane. Even if they all seem to care for one another, it doesn’t matter they’re all traitors. Nothing to want there. For some reason his thought’s didn’t have the pull they usually did. It was usually a simple matter of telling himself that he was correct and the Empire unfailing guidance couldn’t possibly steer him wrong. It seemed that today though, this wasn’t enough. He Couldn’t help but hold on to Zeb’s words, encouraging him to seek the truth for himself. He was set on finding the truth, to absolve the Empire of Zeb’s accusations.

Surely he was on the right side? The fact that the thought came to him as a question of doubt, rather than affirmation of facts he knew, was deeply unsettling. He owed it to the Empire to prove Zeb’s accusations wrong. He let out a soft sigh, somehow discontented with this. He knew the Empire deserved to be held to the truth. He also realized, for the first time, that he deserved to know the truth as well.

Kallus was satisfied with this thought, and drifted off to sleep with the comfort of remembering he had his goal. He had quite the workload to catch up on, and tomorrow he had to get his leg properly looked at. 

Can’t apprehend rebels with a lame leg was his final thought before falling asleep. Although he wished the thought comforted him more than it actually did.

He woke up drained of his defiance of the rebel cause, and irritatingly enough, he woke up thinking of Zeb. It dawned on him that Zeb had been the only personal connection he had made in a very long time. Regrettable, really, that the person he had made a brief connection with was one who had such an intimate reason to hate him. He was frustrated with sudden inability to gloss over the lack of social interaction the Empire offered. 

He suddenly craved meaningful interaction and with other beings in a way he previously found frivolous. He limped his way to the medical bay of the star destroyer and lamented over how cold and sterile and impersonal the medical droids would be, much like the human occupants of the ship.

The droid offered a standard yet polite greeting “Hello Agent Kallus, you are perfectly on time.” 

Kallus gave a small silent chuckle at the fact the flawlessly programmed droid has thus far been the happiest occupant of the ship to see him alive.

“Please have a seat and we can get started.” The droid motioned to the sterile looking table in the corner of the room, surrounded by medical equipment. 

Kallus absentmindedly gazed around the room as he walked over. Out of everyone in the room he felt the most robotic, his imperial conditioning causing him to dissociate in the likely anticipation of the pain that was to come. He stepped up to sit on the table and before he could sit the droid spoke, bringing him back to his senses slightly 

“To examine your leg I will need to see it up close. If you could remove your pants, please.”

Kallus flushed slightly and began to unbuckle his belt “Right” He muttered. 

Once he was disrobed and on the table the droid began its examination. Lost in his distant state while the droid worked, his mind wandered. He was used to the rush of adrenaline with his occupation, but the events of the last couple days had sent his mind spinning in a different direction. He felt as though his unquestioning directive to serve the Empire was under siege, much like he had felt it was during Zeb’s verbal pushing and interrogation of his values. The distinct difference in this situation, however, was that there was no Zeb here, and he was at war with himself.

He had gotten past the point of defending the perfection of the Empire. He had accepted that the Empire may have its flaws, but he had previously been sure that he was on the morally superior side of the battle with the rebels. He was certain now that one of the flaws he felt the Empire had was a cold disdain for camaraderie. This had been palatable and acceptable to him for many years, as he had never known otherwise, but he felt that the Empire could be hiding flaws that were more sinister and objective in nature. He felt they might be hiding something he could point at as definitively wrong, instead of just a feeling of longing for non-Empire socialization that left him with a vague feeling that something was off. 

As it clicked into place in his mind it felt almost natural, as if everything he had thought before was now startlingly unnatural. He felt a new goal form in his mind. A new directive to guide his actions and test his cunning and intelligence. He had to follow Zeb’s advice, and decided that he needed to do some covert yet diligent investigating of the Empire’s actions. Whether this absolved the Empire of Zeb’s accusations, or refuted them, he would have to see. 

“Your leg will have to be reset” The droid interrupted his thoughts 

“Great” Kallus groaned. He inevitably knew this was going to happen. The medical supplies on his adventure with Zeb were lacking, and he hadn’t exactly had the luxury of taking it easy after the crash.

“Please lay down and remain still for the anesthesia,” the droid directed in its pleasant but monotone voice.

Kallus complied and the mask was placed over his face. He was mildly relieved that there would be drugs involved, since he seemed less adept than usual at blocking unwanted thoughts and sensations. He laid still with mild anticipation and excitement. He had found a new goal and was eager to get started.

With one breath his thoughts began to cloud. He wished someone he considered a friend would be there when he awoke. Someone who cared about him. He wished the Empire gave opportunities to have such friends. It was a soothing thought as the gas made his consciousness spiral, even though he knew it wasn’t the reality.

~~~

_I wonder how his leg is doing._

The next day Zeb was sitting at the table in the common area, thinking of none other than his archenemy, Agent Kallus. He was absentmindedly picking at the remains of his breakfast while mulling over the recent events in his head, while Hera and Sabine were wandering around the cabin looking for their own breakfast.

For whatever reason his mind had decided that the more pleasant outcome of the situation on Bahryn for him to think about was one where Agent Kallus had survived. He couldn’t pinpoint if it was a feeling of payback, eagerness to finish the fight they had started, or the creeping realization that Agent Kallus wasn’t undeniably evil and morality wasn’t as black and white as he wanted it to be.

He poked at what was left of his waffle and glared at it, wishing that every time he stabbed it, the invasive and annoying thoughts in his head would leave him be. His brow furrowed as he stabbed it again and it took him a moment to notice Hera standing, with her own plate of waffles, staring at him.  
“Are you okay?” She asked skeptically.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine” He replied, not moving his gaze from his plate. 

Hera eyed him slyly for a minute before crossing her arms and giving him a half smile. “Are you sure you told me everything yesterday?” Her tone held a hint of playfulness to it. 

“Yeah. Why?” Zeb finally looked up at her, wide eyed. 

“You look like you’re thinking about something.”

“I promise Hera, there’s nothing left I haven’t said”

“Well Then I guess I-”

“Zeb’s just mad he didn’t kill Agent Kallus!” Sabine offered with a cheerful chuckle as she dug through a high cabinet on the opposite side of the room.

“I am not!” Zeb growled back at her. 

Hera was distracted by Sabine’s comment and gave her a disapproving look before turning back to Zeb. 

“Zeb, It’s fine” She reassured him. “I really don’t know what we would have done with him if you’d brought him back.”

A flicked of amusement flashed through Zeb’s mind. With the tone Hera was taking with him, It almost sounded as if she was reassuring him about not bringing a stray animal home. His smile lasted for a moment, then he remembered the source of his frustration again. 

“It’s not that. I was just wondering what happened to him.”

Hera looked a bit confused and raised an eyebrow at him “Hmmmm?”

“I just left him there with that transponder” Zeb said, sounding a little more frustrated than he meant. “We couldn’t exactly wait around to see if the Empire picked him up.”

Sabine walked up to the table and stopped next to Hera. She looked down at Zeb with a confused look to match the pilot next to her.

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Sabine shrugged. “And if he’s not? One less problem for us to deal with.”

As much as Zeb wholeheartedly agreed with her, he was unsettled by the thought that Agent Kallus may not have made it off the moon alive. The thought was bitter and annoying, and he was annoying at himself for putting so much energy into worrying about the man. 

Just as Zeb thought he was free, his mind decided to run him into another brick wall. Even if the Agent made it back to the Empire alive, the likelihood they would clash again in combat was very high. Another mix of emotions tormented Zeb, and part of him wished he could just go back to sleep and ignore his intrusive thoughts. He knew that he didn’t want to fight Agent Kallus again, but if it came to it, he would.

“I just hope some of what I said got through to him.” he said as it stared back at the women who were watching him struggle.

Sabine looked surprised. “Oh, you guys actually talked?” She confirmed. 

“Well we had nothing else to do when those creatures weren’t trying to kill us.” Zeb mumbled.

“Wow, so what did you say?” Sabine asked, captivated. 

“You know. Just how the Empire is terrible and if he spent more than ten minutes looking he’d probably figure that out on his own.”

“Huh.” Sabine nodded slowly “What did he say to that?” 

“Nothing much, really.” Zeb glazed back down at his plate briefly. 

“Hmmmm.” was all Sabine offered. 

Hera took a seat across from him and set her plate on the table. She reached out a hand and placed it in the middle of the table to get Zeb’s attention. 

“Zeb, we’re glad to have you back.” She smiled “Don’t worry too much about what happened back there. Whatever happens with Agent Kallus, I think you did your best.”

Sabine sat down next to Hera as she slid over. “Besides.” Sabine added “ I think you gave him far more than you owe him.”

Zeb felt his spirits lift at the words, and they gave him a bit of mental closure so he could stop staring at what was left of his breakfast and hopefully go about his day like normal. Before he stood up with his plate, he looked over at his two friends “Thanks. I really needed that.” He said with more certainty than he had found all morning. 

~~~

Kallus was laying in his bed after being released after his surgery. An appropriate amount of sedatives were clouding his thoughts, which lazily drifted from the events on the frozen moon to where he was now. Too euphoric to be upset over any of it, he was marveling at his fortunate luck to have made it off the moon alive, and without any grievous injuries. It was all thanks to Zeb, and with the lucid state Kallus was in, he couldn’t even remember why he wanted to fight the intimidating Lasat in the first place.

Despite the haze, he was still determined to carry out his investigative mission to look into the Empire’s misdeeds, whatever they may be. On top of that he had begun to look at some of his own actions, both recent and historical, and was giving them the scrutiny they deserved. He was, before the surgery and before the sedatives keeping him from feeling, or thinking, too much. He would get to figure out all these things in time, just another time. 

A ping sounded at the door com, announcing that something would like to be granted access to his quarters. Before he could inquire, a voice sounded from behind the door.

“Agent Kallus?” It was Konstantine.

“Come in,'' Kallus said, as loud as he could manage. The door slid open and the Admiral walked in. 

“Admiral Konstantine” Kallus nodded. 

“Agent Kallus. I’m here for the report and debriefing about the events on the Geonosian moon.”

There was a pulsing pain in Kallus’s leg, accompanied by a pulse of annoyance for the admiral. 

“What about it?” Kallus looked up at the man ,trying to suppress a glare. 

“I'm just looking to get a debriefing, and information on what happened. Before you file your report.” 

“Can’t this wait?” Kallus pleaded. He was in disbelief that the admiral had decided to do this at this very moment, wounds still fresh from surgery and entirely not sober. 

“I’m only following protocol.” Konstantine hummed dryly.

Before Kallus could object again, the admiral continued. “ I was told that the escape pod you were in malfunctioned.”

“It did.” Kallus said shortly.  
“What do you suppose caused the malfunction?” Konstantine was staring at his datapad, thoroughly unintered in Kallus. 

A surge of annoyance hit Kallus as he looked at this agent. Despite the euphoria of the drugs, the man still managed to get on his nerves by insisting they have this conversation at this very moment. The absurdity astounded Kallus. He was relieved to see Konstantine once he had made it back to the Lawbringer, but the man had all but ignored him. He scowled up at him and gritted his teeth. 

“There was a fire.” He lied. “It must have damaged the pod at some point.”

Konstantine typed something on the datapad. “Ah... were you alone?”

Kallus didn’t even hesitate this time. “Yes. all of the troopers I was with were either dead or unconscious.” 

He typed a bit more before continuing. “We spoke to the merchant that retrieved you from the moon. He mentioned he picked up the transponder signal.” 

“Yes?” 

“We were looking to investigate how a transponder for imperial use had been modified to be picked up on a general frequency.” 

“I modified it to be able to do so.” Kallus lied again. Konstantine would never be able to prove otherwise. It didn’t matter. The sooner this conversation was over the better. 

“Ah. I wasn’t aware of your technical qualifications.” 

Kallus almost rolled his eyes. “I’ve been in much worse spots with less to work with”

“Glad we have someone so competent on our side.” Konstantine offered. It seemed hollow and insincere to Kallus. The man hadn’t once asked how his leg was, or how he was for that matter. A small rage began to bubble in Kallus, but Konstantine continued. 

“How were you able to survive in such a cold climate?” 

Kallus exhaled at the memory. “I found a meteorite that produces heat.” he had lost count of how many times he’d lied to the admiral. 

“Very lucky.” Konstantine mumbled. 

“Indeed.”  
“Where is this meteorite?” He looked up from the datapad. Kallus became tense, but motioned to the shelf next to him. The fear the meteorite might be confiscated was present briefly. For a second Kallus thought he might try to fight the man for it. He waited, watching Konstantine pick it up and examine for just a moment before placing it back on the shelf. 

“Interesting.” The admiral said flatly. “Anyway I look forward to your report. According to the medical one, it looks like your leg should heal up fine.” Kallus thought he almost saw him smile, But only managed to look serious and inquisitive. “Im looking forward to reading all the details in your report. Thank you agent.

“Thank you” Kallus said, and Admiral Konstantine nods and briskly walks out of Kallus’s quarters.

When the door closes Kallus falls flat on the bed, exhausted. At the moment he was annoyed at Konstantine it didn’t quite register that he had lied to the man multiple times. The drugs made it quite easy to not care about that fact, he found. None of the reports would benefit the Empire now, and he felt smug satisfaction that he had cooly misdirected the pushy admiral. 

He was doubly happy his lies had led to a shorter questioning, and he didn’t have to answer question after question about being with Zeb, had he told the truth. The sober grumpiness was gone again and replaced by the lessening but still blissful euphoria. He felt protective over his experience on the moon for some reason, and besides being annoying with the admiral, he didn’t care for the idea of talking about Zeb with him. 

He thought about Zeb for a moment, and that maybe this was his chance to atone in a small way for what he had done. Sometime between the moon and now, he had quietly accepted that he had wronged Zeb, and he was determined to make it right, or at least do a proportionate amount of good.

The other questions for himself and the Empire needed to wait. He was in no state of mind to be thinking about those and he knew it. It was easy to think about what to do once he’d accepting that he had done something wrong. He knew lying to Admiral Konstantine wasn’t enough, and in his swirling and euphoric thoughts, a new mission sparks to life in his mind. Even if he couldn’t fix what he had done to hurt Zeb, he would have to do something else to make up for it.


	2. Getting By

Zeb hated watching everything change. He couldn’t stand watching the family he had finally fit into fall apart. After the events of Malachor, he was stunned and wounded. With the cryptic instructions Hera received and the loss of the dual leadership of Kanan by her side, things had grown strained.

Hera and Kanan grieved together over the loss of his eyesight, both crippling physically and to the Ghost team as a whole. He withdrew from participating in Missions and withdrew physically and socially from the team as a whole.

Zeb watched his brother Ezra internalize the defeat and in turn Kanan’s blindness. In the months after the battle on Malachor, Zeb watched Ezra grow with a renewed sense of determination and vengeance. He was worried about Kanan’s absence, and unknown to Zeb, Ezra had turned to the Sith holocron as the only source of Force knowledge available to him 

Zeb watched with Sabine as the dynamics of the crew shifted. They watched as Hera took up the mantle of the lead commanding role and Ezra tried to fill Kanan’s leadership role as best he could. Put out by the shift, they tried to adapt the best they could. Sabine seemed to adjust well, and Zeb was outwardly agreeable to the change, but deep down he worried about the changes he saw in his family. 

Ezra had become an integral part of the team, and over the long months, had become part of their family. Like any proper sibling would, Zeb wanted to protect him. He wanted to talk to Ezra, to reassure him, and he had spent several days trying to find the right moment to do so. He heard Ezra approaching from the distance and based on his footsteps he sounded maybe a little bit frustrated. Zeb was determined to reinforce his brotherly standing. Even if now wasn’t the best time, he had finally worked up the courage to talk, so now it was. 

He sat up on his bunk with his hands on his knees and waited a moment for Ezra to catch his breath before he spoke. 

“How ya doing, kid?” 

Ezra glared at him from across their room. “I’m not a kid.” 

“Jeez, alright. How ya holding up?” Zeb tried to be as sincere as possible.

“I’m fine.” 

“You don’t sound fine.”

Ezra crossed his arms and made a small Hmpf from across the room as he shuffled his things around on the table.

Zeb continued. “Look, Ezra, I know it’s been a while, but what happened to Kanan, wasn’t your fault”

“I know.” He said flatly, not looking at Zeb.

“So you just have to let some things go.” Zeb finished. 

Ezra huffed and stopped rifling through his things, then sighed. He spoke, his back still to Zeb. “I just want to be stronger.” He sighed. “So things like that wont happen.” 

Zeb raised his eyebrows at the boy's back. He appreciated his willingness to protect their family, but was still worried. “Sometimes things that happen no matter how strong you are. You can’t beat yourself up over them.” 

Ezra finally turned to face him. “I’m not.” 

“Sure seems like you are.” Zeb retorted.

“How would you know?” Ezra said angrily, and glared. 

Zeb frowned at his brother “Cause you’ve been sulking around for weeks now in a pretty bad mood. I know what it’s like. But you have to give it a rest or it'll eat you up.

It dawned on Ezra. “Oh. you mean Lasan” The previous frustration had evaporated. 

Zeb nodded. “Yeah. I know about feeling helpless when it comes to the people you care about.”

Ezra finally looked like the sympathetic brother he missed. The bubbling anger he had walked into their room with was all but gone.

“Zeb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Ezra, it’s ok. I just Don’t want you going through what I did. It’s easy to be mad about things but it’ll only drive you crazy. Trying to get revenge will just drive you mad. Sometimes forgiving or letting things go or putting them behind you is the best thing to do.”

Ezra seemed drawn in to the sudden seriousness of the conversation. He looked to Zeb inquisitively “Is that what you did with Lasan?”

Zeb crossed his arms. “Yep, Had to. Nothing will change what happened, but it’s not eating me up anymore.” He said with a tone of finality.

“Did you even forgive Agent Kallus?”  
The questions caught Zeb off guard. He had been putting off the answer to this question to himself, so when Ezra said it out loud, he felt put on the spot. He’d wished he had more time to think so he could give a better answer, both to Ezra, and to himself.

“Thats… I don’t know. That’s complicated. I don’t know If It’s as much forgiving as not letting it get to me, to be honest.” Zeb rubbed the back of his neck slowly.

Ezra raised a brow at Zeb’s confusion as he spoke. “I don’t know If I could forgive him if I was you. He chased us around everywhere. He tried to kill us.”

Zeb may not have known how he felt about Agent Kallus specifically, but he knew how he felt about putting the past behind him. It was something he was well practiced at by now and although Ezra’s question caught him off guard, he knew how he felt about unfettered anger. 

“Yeah, but hating him doesn’t help us now, and it doesn’t help me feel better about anything. Revenge doesn’t fix things, yeah?”

“Hm, Maybe you’re right Zeb.” Ezra scrunched his face up in thought for a moment and Zeb felt a sense of relief. It was nice to have his ragtag sibling back, free of malice and anger. “ Kanan hasn’t really been around to talk to.” Eza trailed off. 

“I know.” Zeb said, looking at the boy and frowning.

“I don’t know what his problem is. He doesn’t even seem to want to talk about missions, or be around any of us, or anything. He barely comes out of his room.”

“Yeah, I miss him,” Zeb said sadly.

Ezra looked determined. “I still have things to learn, even if he doesn’t want to train me. I still have to get stronger.”

“Just be careful, ok?” Zeb offered him a genuine smile. 

Ezra smiled back “I will, Thanks Zeb” He said as he grabbed whatever he had been looking for and went to leave the room. 

“No problem kid.” Zeb said and Ezra winced at it. “Sorry! Not kid.” He corrected himself. 

Zeb stretched on his bed and was quite content with the conversation. He wanted to help the family mend their weakening bonds, and if that meant having tough talk with Ezra every once in a while, it was worth it. The only thing that didn’t stand out in his mind as a pleasant success was the question about Agent Kallus. Zeb knew that he wasn’t enraged by the man, but he couldn’t figure out where the man stood or if he was in the crosshairs of his forgiveness. They had helped each other to survive, and Kallus had left to rejoin the Empire. Zeb winced and avoided speculating any further. He would consider how he felt about the man at a later time.

~~~

Kallus had to stop pondering so listlessly and make his move. He was determined to learn about Grand Admiral Thrawn, who he would soon be working with. Over the last months he’d done as Zeb instructed, and had sleuthed around to take a look at the Empire’s possible misdeeds. He was surprised, and disappointed, and for the first time in a long time, felt somewhat wracked with guilt. The more he learned, the more he wanted to know. His previous reverence for the order keeping of the Empire had been shattered by what Garazeb had pushed him to do, and now the loyalty he felt to that order was tarnished as well. 

Governor Pryce stood on the bridge of the star destroyer as it floated calmly through hyperspace, placing her hands behind her back after dismissing a reporting officer. He approached her slow but intently. 

“Governor Pryce? Do you have a moment?” Kallus asked cautiously.

“Of course. For what?” She asked coldly as Kallus stopped beside her. 

“I wanted to say I'm impressed with your negotiation for the seventh fleet. I think they’re much needed. This rebel cell has proven to be quite the problem.”

“I know all too well.” She gave a sly smile as she looked the agent over quickly. “But I think with Grand Admiral Thrawn leading. It shouldn’t be much longer.”

Kallus nodded in agreement. “What do you know about Grand Admiral Thrawn?” He asked, casually as he could. 

“Besides brutal effectiveness?” She smirked and side-eyed him. 

Kallus met her gaze without moving. “Yes. I think the reports speak for themselves. I was curious about him, since we will be working together.”

“There’s not much to know, he has a fascination for art and culture.” She turned her head to look at him now, engaging him fully. 

“Art?” Kallus asked inquisitively.

She gave him a look, but continued. “Yes. he collects art and artifacts from around the galaxy. His flagship is quite well decorated with them.” 

“Why? That sort of thing is usually discouraged.” Kallus noted, and she gave him a short shrug.

“Usually. The emperor has taken a personal liking to him. That and some of his artistic discoveries have led to strategic advantages in battle.” 

Kallus marveled at the information. It was exactly the sort of thing he wanted to know about the man.“Really? How is that possible?” He asked with now genuine curiosity. 

Her smirk grew. “I’m not sure. But the results are undeniable” she boasted. 

“Very interesting.” Kallus nodded

“Indeed.” She was grinning now. “Take a look at the underside of his command ship. It’s quite intimidating.” she suggested. 

“I’ll have to do that.” Kallus stated, only half feigning his astonishment. 

Pryce continued. “I wouldn’t want to look up and see that thing above me.” She said with a chuckle.

Kallus gave a short chuckle to match hers. To Kallus, Thrawn seemed like an intimidating ally, or at worst, a threatening enemy. He had gathered what information he could, and now his mind was swimming with possibilities that Thrawn could bring.

“Thank you for the information, Governor Pryce.” Kallus said politely. 

She nodded with a smile. “Of course, Agent Kallus” And Kallus saw himself out. 

Kallus was ruminating as he walked through the halls of the ship. Thrawn was ruthless. Aside from the official reports and death tolls of his battles, the rumors alone about his battle tendencies were frightening. Kallus was not entirely sure when he started to care about these things. He was unsure what he could do by gathering such information on the man he was soon to be working with, but as meticulously as he was, he’d rather be prepared than not.

~~~

Zeb prepared himself for another tough talk. In the past it had been easy to talk to Kanan, but over the last few months as the man had steadily withdrawn himself, having a normal conversation seemed daunting. He stopped in front of Kanan's door and took a deep breath. 

“Kanan?” He rapped on the door cautiously. 

“Come in.” He heard Kannan’s voice, as calm as ever.  
The door opened and Kanan was sitting on his bed calmly, eyes closed. Before zeb could say anything Kanan opened with “How’s it going, Zeb?” 

“Good. Do you have a minute?” He asked politely. 

“Sure, What’s going on? 

“It’s Ezra.” Zeb noted cautiously but firmly.

“I don't,” Kanan started, then sighed. “What about him?” 

Kanan’s eyes opened and his head moved slightly. Zeb made eye contact and was unsettled immediately. Kanan’s eyes were gray and his face scarred. Zeb looked away, then looked back at his friend, deciding to make eye contact whether the man could see him or not. 

“Since you’ve been gone, he’s been acting differently.” Zeb admitted, scratching his neck in reflex. 

Kanan tensed. “Different how?”

“He’s done things I’ve never seen him do before.” 

“Like what?” Kanan asked, sounding genuinely intrigued, and worried. 

Zeb frowned. “I'm not sure exactly what happened. I’ve never seen anything like it before.” An uneasy feeling permeated the room. Kanan’s face scrunched up with frustration, which Zeb felt. 

Kanan sighed. “What did he do?”

“When we were breaking Hondo out. The walker. He did something to the pilot.” Zeb took a deep breath, then finished. “shot all the troopers, then just walked right off the platform.” 

Zeb finished the story and they both waited in the heavy silence. Kanan shook his head slowly. “I didn’t teach him that.”

“That’s what he said.” Zeb said. “I know about the Jedi and mind tricks, but I didn’t realize they could do anything like that.”

Kanan looked upset now “They can't. That wasn't a Jedi mind trick, Zeb. That was something else, something the dark side teaches. The Jedi order forbade us from using anything like that.”

Zeb eyes widened in alarm. He hadn’t realized the seriousness of what Ezra had done. “Well. It got us out of a tight spot. But I have to say, it was a little bit, uh, disturbing.” Zeb felt ashamed to admit it for some reason. Recalling the moment, his awe had overtaken his thought for the ramifications of what Ezra had done to the pilot. 

Kanan nodded to Zeb. “It is. The Jedi looked down on such techniques. Stripping away the will of another being like that, It’s wrong.” He shook his head again and his brow furrowed. 

Zeb’s ears fell and he felt deflated. “Yeah. I figured I’d let you know, you being his teacher and all.”

Kanan softly smiled and looked at Zeb, his eyes sightless but still conveying his gratitude. “Thanks Zeb. I appreciate it.” He sighed. “I'm worried I’m not the only one he’s been learning from, so I'll have to have a talk with him. Thanks for telling me.” 

“Of course.” Zeb said, trying to muster as much positivity as he could at the situation.

As Zeb left Kanan’s room and walked listlessly through the hallway something tugged at his heart that threatened a tear to form on his soft green eyes. The family he’d made seemed to be falling apart, but he was determined to do the best he could to keep it together. The entirety of his personal relationships existed on the Ghost, and they meant everything to him. 

~~~

The door hissed and Kallus reflexively grabbed for the stone that was sitting on his shelf. The color and warmth had faded from it but the crystals were still clear and brilliant. He turned it over and the light refracted through the sharp edges of the crystals. He set it down carefully and sat on the chair opposite his bed and threaded his hands together, deep in thought. From what he gleaned from Pryce, Thrawn was an intimidating man with an intimidating record. He wasn’t prepared for the reality of the man. 

He found Thrawn to be bone chillingly cold and calculating. He thought he could outsmart or at least match any of the other Imperials he worked with, but Thrawn’s predictive and analytical prowess seemed to Kallus, to border on a sense of supernatural prescience. Watching the man speak and talk was exhilarating as it was frightening, and the penetrating stare of his eerie red eyes seemed to almost look thoroughly through any object or mind he observed. 

Kallus knew his luck with his beginning string of his turncoat activities had come to an end and he found the thought to be singularly terrifying. The rocky stability and purpose he had regained seemed to shattered once again Thrawn’s scrupulous observance. He became not only worried for his personal safety, but for his personal mission in service of the rebellion. The directive that pulled at his mind to do the right thing and help the Empire now seemed much more difficult to carry out. 

He bit his lip as he realized his job as fulcrum was about to get dangerously harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long after the first chapter! Hoping for more consistent updates after this


	3. Getting Closer

The air of the star destroyer was cool and sterile, perfectly accommodating but not generously so. The clean grey walls stood in perfect coordination with the stillness in the air and absence of commotion. The commotion had just subsided, and Agent Kallus strode through the corridor, partially distracted by the datapad in his hand, and partially by his thoughts.

His mind paced of his previous encounter with the rebel, Sabine Wren, and how he’d tensely aided her escape. As he hoped it was enough to help her, he simultaneously repressed the inkling feeling of betrayal that threatened to surface. His subconscious had the annoying habit of picking at him every time he did something to aid the rebels, but he was working on snuffing out the uneasiness of betraying the Empire. 

As he listlessly scanned over the datapad, the thoughts of the day’s events played through his mind. He was distracted enough he didn’t hear the other man approaching, and looked up just in time to awkwardly sidestep and avoid running into Lieutenant Lyste.

“Agent Kallus!” Lyste gasped, surprised, as he dodged the agent. 

“Lieutenant Lyste.” Kallus nodded, smiling easily at the younger man. He stopped his ruminations and stood still, looking up from his datapad. 

“You heard about those pilots escaping?” Lyste asked earnestly. 

“I have.” Kallus remained cool, despite the personal proximity to the situation Lyste was describing. 

“I can't believe it!” Lyste exclaimed. “Getting away like that.” He huffed. 

“It’s quite unfortunate.” Kallus added dryly.

“Hopefully with all the changes we can put a stop to those sorts of things. 

Kallus raised an eyebrow at him “Changes?” 

“You know, working with Thrawn. He’s always thinking ahead.” Lyste said, seeming optimistic at the thought.

Kallus internally twitched at the thought of the Grand Admiral. “Ah,yes. I'm actually scheduled to meet with him concerning,” He paused for a moment “the incident.”

Lyste looked serious now. Talk of Grand Admiral Thrawn seeped seriousness into the conversion.“He won’t be happy, I’m sure.” The man said grimly.  
Kallus gave him a look and frowned. Before he could say anything, Lyste spoke up “But it’s fine! I'm sure. Doesn’t seem like anything could have been done.” 

“That we know of.” Kallus added, his expression lightening at the reassurance.

“True.” Lyste hesitated for a moment and looked unsure of something. After a moment he made up his mind, and spoke hesitantly “You know, he does kind of remind me of you sometimes.” 

Kallus couldn’t hide his complete surprise and shock at the statement. The thought of being compared to Thrawn made a spike of guilt shoot through him, along with the immediate feeling to object to the statement.

“He does?” Kallus tried to temper the outrage in his voice. It was an innocent comparison, after all. 

Lyste went on. “Of course. Always gathering information, trying to be one step ahead. It’s a good thing, though!” He finished, cheerfully. 

Kallus couldn’t help but give a sly smile, simply at the man’s mood. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He chucked.

Lyste continued, unimpeded. “You should! You don’t become a Grand Admiral with nothing to show for it.”

“That’s true.” Kallus admitted. Before recently, he was fairly proud of his list of imperial accomplishments. 

“He is different though.” Lyste said, half to himself.

Kallus was intrigued now. “Oh? How so?” He asked.

“Maybe it’s ‘cause he's, you know,” Lyste hesitated for a moment again, deciding on wether or not to finish his thought. He furrowed his brow “not human,” He said said finally, “But he always seems so different, so cold” 

“I’ve certainly noticed that.” Kallus confirmed with a small nod of agreement. 

“From what I hear, he gets the job done though. Even if he’s ruthless about it”

Kallus faltered for a moment “Whatever it takes, I suppose.” He said, a slight hint of skepticism in his voice. 

Lyste had a look on his face that looked uncertain as well. Their eyes met briefly.  
_Now is not the time to be sympathizing with the Empire He thought. But what if he’s like me? What if all he needs is a little push? Tag_ He had to scramble to push the thoughts away. He couldn’t jeopardize his mission as fulcrum by revealing even the slightest notion that he was disillusioned by the Empire or sympathetic to the rebel cause. Regardless of the similarities to himself he saw it Lytse, regardless of the idea that the man may just need the push that he’d had with Zeb, he couldn’t risk it. 

Lyste spoke, seemingly torn from whatever thoughts he was having “Either way, today was unfortunate. Hopefully with Thrawn things like this won’t happen again.” He looked to have lost his excited edge. 

“That would be Ideal, wouldn’t it?” Kallus said in his usual authoritative Imperial tone, finally steeling himself to the intrusive ideas.

Lyste was timid now. “It would. Sorry for taking up your time, Agent Kallus” 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s good to hear what everyone thinks, It helps us work together.” He silently cursed himself after he realized what he’d said, realizing how unlike the Empire the idea sounded. The Empire ran under an authoritative chain of command, not any semblance of cooperation or teamwork. 

The idea didn’t seem to register to Lyste in any alarming way. “That’s good to hear.” Was all he said, the corners of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. 

Kallus opted to dismiss himself before he said anything else suspicious or slightly treasonous “Yes it is. Anyway, I better get ready for my meeting.” 

“Of course! Sorry again” 

“Don’t worry about it, Lieutenant Lyste” He gave a small nod and continued on his way, almost eager to talk to Thrawn, who was so exceedingly easy to lie to. The thought left him with zero conflicting feelings, or guilt. Thrawn was undoubtedly his enemy, and mind braced with resolve about what he had to do. 

~~~

Zeb set the supply crate at his feet and checked off the box on the datapad he was holding, marking it as received. Sabine had arrived earlier in the day from her botched mission and had slept most of the day. Zeb was in good spirits as he worked, happy to have his sister back and family complete again.

He double checked the contents of the crate next to the one he had just set down, and clicked another check on his list. He heard footsteps approaching, and as if summoned by his contented thoughts, Sabine appeared from the top steps of the stairs leading out of the command center. She looked well rested and excited to see him. 

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” She said as she crossed her arms. 

Zeb chucked at her matter of fact tone, glad to have her back. “To give me some good news, I hope.” He called back to her. 

“That’s what I came to ask about.” She said, bounding down the stairs in one jump and stepping over to him. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Her voice sounded both curious and confused. “Well you see, the thing is. I was hoping you could tell me.” She crossed her arms again. 

“What?” Was all Zeb managed. 

Zeb stared at her with intrigue as she recounted her experience and escape with the cadets. His eyes widened as she told him what Kallus had said to her, after aiding in her escape from the academy. Zeb stood in shock at the fact Agent Kallus had directly defied the Empire to help Sabine, and his mind swam as she leaned casually on the durasteel wall of the command room.

“What do you think it means?” Sabine asked incredulously, adjusting herself against the wall as she stared at Zeb.

Zeb crossed his arms and looked up at her and grumbled “I don't even know.”

He was telling the truth. He could only speculate and that, he realized, would drive him crazy.

“Are you sure?” She gave him a skeptical grin.

“It must have been payback for Bahryn.” Zeb grumbled to her. 

She looked confused, as if she misheard him. “For what?”

Zeb tensed and gritted his teeth slightly before explaining. “Bahryn. It was that blasted frozen moon we were stuck on,” He hesitated for a moment “together.” He felt embarrassed to say it aloud to her, but why he felt embarrassed, he didn’t know. Perhaps it was his sudden bout of mercy for Kallus and his inability to drag him onto the Ghost as a prisoner, or surprisingly amicable attitude towards the man despite his very personal involvement in Zeb’s past.

“Wow, and he felt the need to pay you back? I’m surprised.” Sabine adjusted herself against the wall, her eyes wide with surprise. 

“Yeah, me too” he hummed. Zeb looked from Sabine to stare at the floor and hunched himself over in thought.

Sabine continued “I guess even for a bad guy he must have some scrap of honor in him.”

“Yeah.” He briefly looked up at Sabine before returning to his contemplative stare at the floor.

“Well I thought you would want to know” She grinned at Zeb “I guess I’ll consider his message received.” 

“Thanks” Zeb muttered, lost in thought.

“No problem.” As she made a move to leave, Zeb stopped her.

“Hey Sabine.”

“Yeah?” She turned back to him and looked intently. 

Zeb’s ears were pressed back and he wore a contemplative frown as he spoke. “Could you do me a favor?” He asked slowly. 

“Maybe, What?” She eyed him suspiciously.

“Could you maybe, uh,” He rubbed his hand on his neck sheepishly “not mention this to the others?”

She gave him a look she had never given him before. She scowled with confusion and studied him, looking over his face and his posture to identify the reason for why he would request such a thing. It wasn’t a terrible omission of truth to the rest of the team, and their interaction had been so brief and contained so few words it seemed as if Zeb was making a big deal out of something insignificant. 

“Your secret is safe with me.” She finally decided on. “Not much of a secret though. is everything ok?” She looked at him with concern, still unsure of what had Zeb so uneasy.

“Yeah it's fine. I just don’t know how to feel.” He admitted shyly. 

Her laugh put him at ease. “You and me both, buddy” Her casualness was infectious and Zeb found the tugging of stressful thoughts seemed more manageable as she laughed and turned away. 

Zeb sat on the crate at his feet and folded his hands and rested his chin on them. He was less frustrated but still lost and couldn’t help but speculate on what Kallus had intended with his message. Zeb was surprised Kallus had done something in direct defiance of the Empire; surprised and somewhat proud. Firstly, he gave himself a pat on the back for his apparently persuasive speech on Bahryn. He then felt a sudden surge of pride for Kallus, who had, for some reason, taken his words to heart.

At least, Zeb hoped. The thought that Kallus had only seen this as an opportunity to repay him for his one time assistance was a disheartening one. If his tiny rebellion was only a singular act and he intended to pick right back up and continue the same service in the empire, then the chance of him meeting with Zeb on the battlefield in deadly combat was still very real and very present. Even if he decided to stay loyal to the empire in the long run, Zeb found his desire to inflict harm upon the man in that situation drastically lessened.It surprised him how fast his opinion of the man had changed. 

~~~

It was sterile and cool inside of the star destroyer but Kallus couldn’t help but feel warm. Anxiety pulsed at his cheeks, as well as a newfound sense of determination and elation. In his mind before, his betrayal had always existed in theory, a carefully thought out stream of ideas and thoughts, perfectly sealed away and incapable of becoming any sort of physical reality. The events that had unfolded recently proved that things were, indeed, very much real. 

His talk with Thrawn had gone inconspicuously smooth, and the excuses and lies he’d fed the man were perfectly seamless. His talk with Lyste had left him uneasy, but talking to Thrawn had renewed his sense of determination in his position in the grand scheme of the rebellion. The events of the day made everything feel incredibly real, and with the importance of what he had done on his mind, tiny slivers of guilt of every misdeed he’d perpetrated in the name of the Empire seemed to be eased. 

He paced back and forth for a moment before eyeing the dimly glowing meteorite sitting alone on his shelf. He walked over to examine it and as he lifted it up to inspect, his mind became still and calm, drifting to Zeb and their disastrous adventure on the ice moon of Bahryn, to the beginning of everything that led to this. He smiled softly at the warm amber rock as he felt the slightest heat from it in his palm. He wished he could thank Zeb for his words and patience during their time together. Unknowingly to either of them at the time, Zeb’s words had eroded his protective cage of reasoning surrounding his drive to serve the Empire. The more he began to poke around at things the Empire had done, the more he became dissatisfied. The more questions he asked, both to himself and to others, the more he realized that his strong drive may just have been pushing him too strongly in the wrong direction. 

He wanted to thank Zeb for pushing him to where he was now. More than that, he wished he could make up for the awful things he had done. As of now, those memories were no longer violent fuel for his determination to help the Empire with it’s death grip over the galaxy. Now the memories became a deep source of regret and shame. He wished he had someone he could share these new feelings with, as he was sure Zeb did with his team. He wished he could share them with Zeb after thoroughly thanking him, and a tiny part even wished he could go back to the day on that ice moon and simply leave with Zeb and his crew and bid the Empire farewell. He wished it were that easy. 

His soft smile faded to a melancholy gaze, looking through the meteorite. What he was doing now wasn’t going to be easy. He knew, however, that what he was doing now could maybe at least partially make up for what he had done. His gaze was transfixed through the warm rock in his hand as his usual resolve ran through him. He had an immense amount of will power to complete his directive and tactfully accomplish his goals. This time, he was going to put it to good use. 

~~~

Zeb found himself feeling blissfully surprised and relaxed as he sprawled out on his chair. He was unsure if Kallus had been a lost cause when he had chosen to stay and wait for the Empire to pick him up from Bahryn. After getting off the frozen moon he had written it off as trying his best, he had said his piece in an attempt to get Kallus to see the truth, and that was that. He had hoped to soften Kallus’s mind, but had never dreamed it would result in such a string of blatant acts of rebellion. 

_Kallus is Fulcrum. He thought giddily. Tag_

The negative feelings that existed around the man were still present. Zeb had been mulling over those feelings and found them bothersome, and heavy. When he gave them thought he seemed to always reach an internal conflict, or an impasse, and he knew sooner or later he would have to come to terms with them. At the present moment though, they were buried very deep under the sense of admiration he had for the man. 

Zeb’s ears flicked as he heard Ezra approaching, the cadence of his steps giving him away to the sensitive lasat ears.

“Hey Zeb.” Ezra’s voice called out casually behind him. Zeb turned to see him approaching his hideaway at the edge of the canyon. 

“I was wondering what time you’d get back.” Zeb said, smiling at his brother who sat next to him. There had been more peaceful times among their habitual bouts of annoyance of one another, and Zeb felt too content and blissful to be annoyed at the boy. 

“Yeah it wasn’t so bad. What has you so happy?” Ezra said as he eyed Zeb who was still grinning. Ezra smirked as he looked Zeb up and down. 

Zeb felt caught and looked suddenly on edge. He had been sitting here thinking of none other than his former enemy Agent Kallus. He felt a sudden reluctance to tell Ezra what he was truly thinking, and he suspected it was because his thoughts were spite free and only of pride and admiration for the man. He found describing his feelings to be an unpleasant thought and quickly laughed and said “Oh, Nothing.” to Ezra 

“Oh really?” Ezra gave Zeb an inquisitive look. He suddenly looked confused, and then very shocked. His eyes widened “Agent Kallus?” He asked, surprised.

“Ezra! What the kriff!” Zeb shouted at him. He bit his lip and his face contorted at the embarrassment of the personal intrusion that had just transpired. Zeb knew of the Jedi’s telepathy, but he also knew most had some manner of control of their abilities, and being subjected to one like that felt both startling and unnerving. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Ezra apologized. “Kanan told me I need to learn to control it, but it’s hard, I’m working on it.”

“I don’t want to think I can’t even get some privacy in my own head when you’re around.” Zeb grumbled and crossed his arms.

Ezra looked genuinely apologetic. “I'm sorry! Sometimes I think I have it under control but stronger emotions and thoughts sometimes get through. Kanan says eventually I’ll be able to control it.” He explained. 

“Good!” Zeb said with a huff, and continued to glare at the boy disapprovingly.

“I’m happy too, though.” Ezra said cautiously, trying to mend their first interaction since his return.

“What?” Zeb said flatly.

Ezra settled into his chair and relaxed as the tension between them subsided. “About Agent Kallus, it’s nice to know he’s on our side. At least he won’t be chasing us around the galaxy any more.”

Zeb let out a sigh and opted to forget their squabble. Now that Ezra knew, he found himself far more willing and open to discuss the agent with him. “Yeah, but Thrawn is now. Not exactly any easier.” He said.

“But at least with Agent Kallus on our side It’ll help.” Ezra offered.

“Yeah, who knows how long that will last though.” The thought worried Zeb.

“I guess that’s true. If the empire finds out he’ll be a goner.”

“Yeah.” Zeb mumbled, and found creeping anxiety gnawing at him. He didn’t like to think of the fate that would befall the agent if he was discovered. He liked even less his lack of ability to do anything should that situation take place.

Ezra continued with his glum assertion. “We can’t exactly do anything to help him out if that happens either.”

Zeb felt frustrated and was beginning to let it show. He shot Ezra another glare and

“Hey. don’t worry, I’m sure nothing bad will happen.” Ezra said reassuringly. 

“I said to stay out of my head!” Zeb snapped again. 

“I didn’t do anything! I swear!” Ezra pleaded, holding his hands up in innocence. 

“Oh.” Zeb said slowly, completely deflated “Sorry.” His ears were pressed back against his head and he was thoroughly embarrassed. 

“No problem, big guy.” Ezra said, and propped his hands behind his head and nudged himself against the back of the cargo container. 

They both stared at the yellow orange sunset of Attolon together. Ezra was focused on his control of the force, and meditated silently as the sun slowly descended over the tan rocky landscape. Zeb thought of the rebellion and of the exciting events of the last several weeks He thought of Agent Kallus, who seemed to have gained another facet of complexity in his mind, and he couldn’t help but think of what it meant to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I'm unsure if the pacing is decent so let me know. Like, comment, subscribe!  
> Or just roast me on Twitter lmao


	4. Cat and Mouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, actual plot!

The mildly warm desert sun wavered overhead, and the massive expanse of rocky sand was highlighted by large weathered outcroppings of stone scattered across the landscape. A warm wind danced over the flat arid plain, and it was remarkably scenic, with the picturesque city nestled between the rocks and sand. 

Zeb and Sabine leisurely stepped through the outskirts of Garel city. It had been a long time since they’d set food on the rocky dune of a planet. The Imperial presence in the city had lessened since they’d been driven from the city, and with adequate time passing and the call of a mission too good to pass up, the Ghost crew had returned. 

The rest of the Ghost crew had lined up a small weapons deal with one of Vizago’s men and Zeb as Sabine had been relegated to patrol duty to alert the other spectres if one of the sparse Imperial patrols should wander by their meeting area. It was supposed to be a fairly quick mission, but with the nature of meeting with criminals, they hadn’t arrived when scheduled and the mission had been delayed. 

The pair rounded the pale plaster wall of one of the desert buildings, and froze. In the distance they watched a unit of four stormtroopers walk past the building on a main street and disappear in the distance, obscured by more of the city. 

“Well that isn’t good.” Sabine said to Zeb, her voice muffled, but readable through her helmet.

“Yeah,” Zeb agreed. “They’re walking away from the Ghost though.”

Sabine tilted her head a bit. “That’s true. We should still be careful.”

“Hm.” Zeb nodded, and the made their way into the street, pressed close against the wall to stay out of obvious sight.  
The street was wide and the stormtroopers weren’t the only figures walking through the crowd. Beings of many different races bustled around in the afternoon sun. The outskirts of Garel City had fewer buildings, but the city was compact and in the high afternoon, even the outskirts had people milling about their business. They made themselves as inconspicuous as possible. 

As they were about halfway to the cross street where the stormtroopers had walked through, more white figures turned a corner far in the distance and began walking down the street to approach the city intersection. As if out of instinct, the pair took several steps back to duck into an alleyway to hide from the approaching patrol. 

“More?” Zeb growled. “Why?” 

“Beats me. The city wasn’t supposed to be guarded this well.” Sabine sighed in frustration. 

After a minute the two dared to peek out of their hiding place to the populated intersection to get a bearing on the movement of the troopers. They were far enough to not be noticed easily, and at the corner of cross streets, they found the group of troopers. They were being instructed by a figure clad in gray with a distinguishable helmet, identifying them as an ISB Agent. The two watched in frustration and awe as the agent gestured then pointed down the street the previous patrol had left down. Several of the half dozen troopers nodded in agreement and the group began to walk down the same road. 

“Huh, that’s weird.” Sabine said to Zeb as they ducked behind the wall of the alleyway once again. 

“Why would they go that way?” Zeb wondered aloud. 

Sabine crossed her arms against the wall. “Yeah. That makes no sense. The Empire can be a mess sometimes, but they aren’t that bad.” She said scornfully, shaking her head.

“I guess we’re safe for now. It’s still weird.” Zeb agreed. 

Sabine reached for her pistol and shook the confusion off. “Hey, the agent is by themself now though, we can take them out if we have to.” She nodded in the direction of the street.

“If we have to.” Zeb shrugged, indifferently. “Let me check and see before we make a racket.” He pulled the comm from his belt and held it up to his mouth. “Spectre-2 How’s it going over there?”

In a moment, Hera’s exasperated voice sounded through the comm. “Hmpf, fine. Taking forever on top of being late. Almost done though. How’s it looking on your end?”

Zeb nodded as he growled slyly into the comm. “More than a couple bucketheads, but they went the other direction, so it looks like you guys are still in the clear.”  
“Great.” Hera’s voice crackled. “We’ll let you know when we’re wrapped up here.”

“Alright.” Zeb said, and brought the comm back to his belt and clipped it. 

The pair gave each other a quick look and Sabine nodded again before they peeked around into the street once more to track the movement of the ISB agent. The agent had made their way to the corner of the street they were on. And their position on the opposite street put them dangerously close to spying the pair if they decided to walk any further down. 

The agent paused and spent a minute looking down and scrolling over a datapad. Zeb squinted and tried to get a better look at the figure, who was unmistakably male from this distance. The man absentmindedly scratched his chin as he scrolled through the datapad, his attention focused elsewhere than the street he was supposedly patrolling. The scratching became a bit more focused and after a moment the agent put the datapad away and scrambled in apparent frustration to remove his helmet. 

Zeb gave an audible gasp and Sabine whispered “No way.” with a chuckle. The man squinted and scratched his perfectly recognizable facial hair. It was Agent Kallus. 

They ducked back once more. “Why is he here?” Sabine hissed. 

Zeb grumbled with a huff before regaining his composure. “How should I know?” He shot back at her. 

“They must be here to look for something.” She shook her head in frustration. “How could they know we were here?” 

“It might not be for us.” Zeb offered. 

“Seems like a pretty awful coincidence.” She gestured with a frustrated motion of her hands. 

Zeb took a deep breath before speaking. “Sabine, He’s Fulcrum! He’s been feeding the rebellion information.” He said with the smallest hint of frustration. 

“Still, if things get tight and he has to play his part for the Empire, I don’t trust him not to give us up.”

She had a point, as much as Zeb didn’t want to admit it. Zeb may have saved Kallus’s life, and Kallus may be a double agent for the rebellion, but if it came down to their capture or Kallus’s life, Zeb was hesitant to put his trust in the man he’d only had such a brief interaction with. 

Zeb puffed up and finally made up his mind. “Then let’s leave!” He whispered loudly at her. 

Before they could look to the street to check on Agent Kallus’s position, they saw the man walking, his datapad missing as he lazily gazed around the city. There was nothing to hide behind, and they would certainly be spotted running away, so they braced themselves as they watched the ISB agent stroll by. They stood up at the ready, Sabine had a hand placed on her pistol, ready to fire at a moment’s notice, and Zeb stood, transfixed by the walking figure.  
As if on queue, Kallus slowed down and inspected the buildings from top to bottom. His eyes wandered to the alleyway, and Zeb heard Sabine take a sharp breath as he looked straight at the alleyway and to the two rebels, openly visible from where he was standing. 

Zeb watched as his eyes widened in shock and he stopped walking. None of the three of them moved, and they all stared intently, Kallus locking eyes with Zeb. Something pulled at Zeb as they gazed at one another. They hadn’t seen each other since Bahryn, and to Zeb, the idea of seeing Agent Kallus again in person seemed both unlikely, and uncomfortable.

_Ah_ Zeb thought. _So I didn’t accidently kill him with that droid._ Relief washed over him as he recalled the pang of anxiety he’d had before at the idea that Kallus may have been on the ship that received the reprogrammed droid, and that he’d inadvertently killed their Fulcrum informant.

There was a mix of feelings at work under the relief, and the look Agent Kallus gave him didn’t help him subdue those feelings. The man looked at him with a forlorn stare, and Zeb swore he could see the faintest sad smile tugging at the man’s face. It quickly faded and the expression that was left was despondent, and laced with vulnerability. 

Some unidentifiable instinct bubbled within Zeb as he stared back at the man. Kallus lowered his eyes for a moment and looked back slowly. Within his eyes a look of longing showed. Zeb saw the look of longing, as well as an air of fear on his face. Kallus bit his lip slightly as they stared at each other. 

The moment drew on, and Sabine, who was crouched next to Zeb, looked up at him to assess the situation.

“What should we do?” She whispered quickly. 

Before Zeb could reply, his comm went off and Hera’s voice buzzed at his hip. 

“Spectre-4?” 

Zeb pulled the comm from his belt to his mouth, still maintaining his inspection of the Imperial agent across the street. “Yeah?” 

“We’re finishing up here in a few.” Hera said. “No problems?” 

“Nope.” Zeb confirmed dully. “We’ll be right over.” 

“Perfect.” said the voice as he clippled the comm on his belt once again. He blinked slowly at Agent Kallus, and forced himself to break the stare. He waved down the alleyway as Sabine watched him. “Let’s go.” He said nonchalantly. 

They darted through the mostly empty alleyways in the opposite direction that Kallus had directed the stormtroopers, and quickly made their way back to the Ghost. There were several cross streets and intersections, and people walked about freely. On the outskirts of the city there was little to no speeder traffic, and they were able to cross the street to the next alleyway with ease. The people on the street paid little attention to the pair of average interest for the city, or to the imperial probe droid that floated listlessly several meters above the walkway on the edge of the street. It’s head rotated to follow the two figures that were dashing across the street, and the large lens on its head moved as it tracked the pair of running rebels. 

They slowed as the Ghost came into view, ramp extended with Hera standing with her hands on her hips. Sabine slid next to Zeb as she removed her helmet, and walked next to him.

“Guess we didn’t have to find out if Agent Fulcrum is on our side or not.” She said jokingly. 

“Good.” Was all Zeb managed to say, now deep in thought. 

Sabine glanced up at him as they walked. “What was with that staring contest? Looked like you were trying to read each other’s minds.” 

Zeb simply shrugged. “Been a while, I guess. He probably wished he coulda come with us.”

Sabine gave a hearty laugh. “Yeah I don’t know how everyone else would feel about that.” she said in a skeptical but amused tone. 

“Me either.” Zeb said casually. 

They walked in silence for several seconds before she looked up at him again for a moment. “He looked kinda sad.” She noted. 

Zeb bristled at this. Kallus did look sad, and to Zeb, he did almost look like he wished he could drop everything and just leave with them. He thought he may have been reading into the expression Kallus had, but Sabine’s comment had confirmed it wasn’t just him. That mix of conflicting thoughts was back and as he thought about it, and the frustration was back as well. 

“Must be tough realizing what a slime ball you used to be, huh?” Was all Zeb was capable of saying about Sabine’s speculation. 

She laughed again, and Zeb grimaced at his own joke.

The Ghost lifted off from the outskirts of Garel without any incident, and began its descent through hyperspace to Attolon. The several crates of blasters and explosives had been cleanly loaded up, and the crew was in high spirits. Zeb had waited for a moment to speak to Hera, as she had been in several meetings over the holo with the other rebel leaders. He wandered into the cockpit where she now sat, alone and sat beside her. As he mentioned his encounter with Kallus, he was surprised as she seemed to aim to make the agent the topic of conversation. 

She swiveled in her chair to look at Zeb, with a bemused smile. “Funny that you ran into him. I was actually just talking to General Sato about him.” 

“Oh? Why?” Zeb’s eyes widened in surprise.

Hera took a breath before she began her explanation. “We think someone in the Empire is catching on to what he’s been doing. It looks like they’re more heavily monitoring transmissions, and his last fulcrum one may have been compromised.” 

“Karabast. I wonder if he knows.” Zeb bit his lip and stroked his chin slowly. 

Hera tilted her head slightly. “We aren’t sure. Either way we’ve put together an extraction mission so we can get him out before he gets caught, or leads the Empire to us.”

“That’s good I guess. When is the mission? And who’s going?” 

“In a few days.” Hera chuckled with amusement, “And, actually, just Ezra.” 

Zeb scowled “Ezra?” 

Hera shrugged and maintained her amused look. “He’s actually the least recognizable out of all of us. He’ll meet with Kallus, then Rex and Kanan will show up for a pick up. Pretty simple.” 

Hera looked proud of the plan, and Zeb suspected she was behind some of its formulation. Zeb nodded as she spoke and her amusement lessened after several seconds and her face and body took on a more serious bearing. Zeb was silent as she looked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

She spoke softly and more solemn than before, almost a whisper. “Zeb, extracting him from the Empire is something we have to do. But I understand if you don’t want him around after. What he did to your people was horrible. No one will blame you.”

Zeb winced. He knew absolutely everything she said was reasonable. The well of mixed emotions Zeb had for the man seemed to surface at the thought of Kallus joining them as an ally. Something emotionally territorial swirled as he felt for a moment that the punishment, or atonement Kallus had done by assisting the rebels was simply, not enough. He knew it was irrational. He’d already suggested Kallus come with him to the Ghost, but it had been an impulsive gesture, fueled by excitement. Something about leaning he had betrayed the Empire made Zeb feel like his position as Fulcrum was a fitting punishment for his wrongdoings, as it was a metaphorical purgatory.

He came back to Hera and found himself short for words for just a moment. The look and sympathy she gave him was so honest, and he loved her for it. He smiled back at her concerned face and shrugged off the serious tone the conversation had taken. 

“It'll be fine.” He assured her. “I didn’t kill him before he was helping us out, no sense to now.” 

“Still, If he makes you uncomfortable.” She trailed off slowly. 

“He won’t.” Hera looked unconvinced. “Look, you know most of what happened in the past, i’ve dealt with. If anything comes up though, I’ll let you know.” 

She smiled at that “Zeb, we’d always put you first in that situation.” 

He smiled back at her “Thanks, Hera.” 

She continued. “Helping us against the Empire doesn’t mean what he’s done in the past can be completely forgiven.” 

_Is that what that means?_ Zeb thought: _is it that black and white for me?_ Zeb furrowed his brow, and once again decided to think about this later. “It’s complicated.” 

“It is complicated.” She confirmed. “Guess we’ll see.” 

“Sounds about right.” Zeb smirked, and he broke her gaze to stare out into the mesmerizing blue of hyperspace. 

~~~

The door hissed shut behind him, and he approached the intricate desk that the Grand Admiral sat at. The fear of Grand Admiral Thrawn was always paired with a sense of wonder for Kallus, and he glanced around the room at the various art pieces that were displayed, and wondered about their origin, and their meaning. Thrawn’s collection combined with his cold and ruthless personality always seemed to leave the sense of wonder fleeting with Kallus, and it would double back with renewed respect and fear of the man. 

“Agent Kallus” The monotone and emotionless voice rang out as Thrawn looked up from his desk.

“Grand Admiral” Kallus echoed. 

“It’s unfortunate to hear your mission on Garel didn’t meet with any success.” Thawn maintained the calmness he always had, and the only hint of disapproval was a raised eyebrow. 

Kallus internally gulped at the directness of statement. “The rebels in this sector have been notoriously hard to apprehend.” 

“So I’ve heard.” He folded his hands on the desk. “It’s especially unfortunate considering the intelligence on the rebel’s movements was incredibly through.” 

Kallus thought to comment on the previous lack of reliable intelligence before Thrawn and the seventh fleet had joined the effort to seek out the rebels. He thought better of it. “Do you suspect it’s the work of the rebel spy?” He asked. 

“Indeed, I do. The breach of intel for this mission has narrowed our list of possible suspects down.” Thrawn maintained his skeptical and bored demeanor, eyebrow still raised in calculating observance. 

“That’s good news.” Kallus said cooly. 

The smallest smile spread on Thrawn’s lips.“Yes. It’s only a matter of time until we find our culprit, and I suspect that time is fast approaching. Do you have a suspicion as to whom it may be? Perhaps we can narrow our search even further.” The smile faded, and Thrawn moved a hand to his chin as he interrogated the agent in front of him.

Kallus attempted to deflect the question. “I don’t. these rebels have been troublesome and have taken up most of my time.”

“Pity. I was hoping we could put your intelligence training in the ISB to good use.” Thrawn's demeaning attitude briefly shook Kallus, but he regained his composure quickly. 

“My apologies, sir.” Kallus looked at the floor, briefly unable to meet the piercing red eyes that were boring into him. 

“I know the intel was lacking specificity, but I would have thought you could have scoured a large portion of the city for them with that time frame.” Thrawn reprimanded him cooly. 

“Perhaps we missed them.” He offered “Or their scheduled meeting may have been postponed.” 

Another faint smile appeared, and was gone almost instantly. “Under normal circumstances I might be inclined to agree. However, In this case, I took some precautions ahead of time.” 

Thrawn reached for something on the side of the desk. Instantly before them both, a hologram appeared, projected from the desk. Kallus’s heart stopped. It was the same figure he’d seen only hours earlier, across a city street on Garel. A deep longing surfaced, then faded to an abject fear. The holo of Garazeb Orellios jogging through the city, with a colorful Mandelorian right behind him, rotated slowly before him. This did not look good.

Thawns' voice pried him from his thoughts. “I’m sure you’re quite familiar with this lasat, are you not?” 

The rhetorical question sparked a surge of anger in Kallus. He quickly gulped it down and kept himself in control. “That’s Garazeb Orrelios. We’ve met in combat several times.” He said indifferently. 

“Oh, That’s quite remarkable.” Thrawn's eyes widened in mock surprise. “Lasat are known for their strength and agility. Not many would survive such an encounter.” 

Kallus thought back to the moment where he was thrown through the air with force as he was poised to strike Garazeb down, then immediately to their time on Bahryn. “I was lucky.” He said, and looked down at the floor. 

Thrawn went on. “Of course. Now this image was captured some time after their scheduled rendezvous with the weapon smuggler, so the timing may have been changed, as you suggest.”

“Perhaps that explains why we missed them.” Kallus felt his reserved demeanor slipping. 

“However, You were assigned a window of time in which to search the city, and the capture of this image was taken at the end of, but still within that window.” Thrawn gestured at the holo with a bright blue hand. 

Kallus bowed his head and tried to play off an apologetic shame. “We must have just missed them. I apologize, Grand Admiral” 

“I would hope we could be more diligent next time with an opportunity like this, should the opportunity occur.” Thrawn scolded him. 

Kallus looked up to meet the blood chilling eyes that were staring back at him “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Kallus felt the hinting of freedom that their conversation may be close to over, but Thrawn tricked him once again, and started speaking again after a lengthy pause. “I have to say, Agent Kallus, your history is not without merit, so this failure stands out to me as an exception. I would hope next time we get a chance, we can succeed, and you can finally capture these rebels, and one of the last remaining of your lasats.”

Thrawn’s words pulled some indescribable feeling out of Kallus, and he had to summon every bit of Imperial training he’d learned to not break as Grand Admiral taunted him. He couldn’t help but feel he’d been puppeted into a trap by Thrawn, and anger he felt towards the man was again paired by a piercing fear. 

“You are dismissed, Agent Kallus.” Thrawn said finally. 

“Thank you sir.” Was all Kallus managed. He kept himself in control as he left the room, maintaining his imperial composure the best he could. 

He maintained his calm fearlessness until he hit the door control on his room. His heart rate accelerated as he realized he’d thrown Thrawn another card of information that, sooner or later, would reveal him as a traitor. He’d led the stormtroopers on a fruitless mission, but had somehow led himself on an unsuspecting path that had supplied Thrawn with another piece of the puzzle.

His determination threatened to retreat as he sat down on his plain bed and clasped his head in his hands. The thought of being found out and executed was a fearful one for plainly obvious reasons. Thrawn had presented him with an opportunity to betray the rebels, and he’d refused and endangered himself instead. For some reason, It seemed to make sense, and the symbolic trade seemed to be fair. 

He thought about the wide eyed lasat staring back at him across the street, and all that had changed since their fateful adventure on the frozen moon of Geonosis. He knew that all he did to aid the rebellion was the right thing to do, but part of him also saw his risky endeavors as a personal repayment for every bit of misfortune he’d caused Zeb. 

_Do I owe him my life?Is that really how this all might end? Am I ok with that?_ He sat on the bed and wrestled with the conflicting thoughts. He pushed the fear that his life may soon be ending back to the corner of his mind where it belonged. He became renewed with a sense of determination, and his self-assigned directive to help the rebellion resonated in his mind once more. 

Whether it was atonement for his sins against Lasan, its people, and Garazeb Orrelios, or a higher calling to serve the cause of the rebellion, he didn’t know. He knew however, that he resolved to keep pushing as far as he could. He thought that making it out alive would be a nice bonus, to whatever life may await him after the Empire.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> love any feedback/advice/pointing out stupid typos 
> 
> yeet me on tweeter https://twitter.com/MattyQuailDog  
> always looking for more fandom friends


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